Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Courage Forward; Reflection Past

Courage Forward; Reflection Past
Moving forward into new territory takes the courage of the golden horse, but the ghost-white horse also carries the wisdom of past experience. See store for details.

Framing the Questions
Having the right questions can be more helpful than thinking that you have the right answer.  How questions are framed slants the perspective and shapes the reality. For example - how many times have you been hired? How many times have you succeeded?  Now try - How many times have you been fired? Have you failed? Yuck!!!!  But you've probably been hired more than fired (hopefully) and have succeeded at many things. You are the same person either way - but one set of questions makes you feel like a failure, and the other makes you feel good. Both carry their reality. Which reality is more accurate?

I am at a crossroads right now - and am faced with some tough decisions. I also have a good friend who is facing some somewhat similar issues. We both try to live according to the values of honesty and integrity but are faced with unfair situations and people who don't live by those codes. These are some questions that we have been discussing:

  • When do you stand firm and when do you compromise? When is a compromise really a  "cop out?" Is it unreasonable to stand up for yourself and who you are?
  • How do you know when you are ready for change?
  • How do you deal with people who cheat, lie and manipulate and get away with it when you take the high road?
  • Where are the boundaries? Where is that line which you will not cross?

Asking the right questions is the key to finding the answer.


  1. How do you deal with people who cheat, lie and manipulate and get away with it when you take the high road?

    The question is not how deal with these people when you take the high road, the question you have is how do you deal with these people when they're expectation is that you will take the high road, and that only gives them what they want?

  2. That's a really good point - part of the problem that I'm dealing with is that my opposition "knows" that I will do the right thing - and they are counting on it. - Just yesterday I found out about a whopper of a lie that made at a recent meeting, which gave them advantage. My honesty puts me at a disadvantage, their lying gives them leverage.